love in a hopeless place.

.SUNDAY.010112.

2012-01-01T16:33:00.002+08:00

dear god, my prayer for 2012 is a fat bank account and a thin body.

sincerely, me.

.SATURDAY.311211.

2011-12-31T01:39:00.011+08:00

so the other day, facebook news feed was flooded with this malay movie entitled ombak rindu. i swear, almost everyone was talking about how sad this movie really is. and being like any other typical human being, i was really curious as to what this ombak rindu movie is all about. and since i really got nothing much in particular to do that night, i went online searching for this ombak rindu. before playing them, i told myself that i should probably watch only one third of the movie since it was already past 4am that night and thought that sleeping at 6am would rather be far too late for me. the duration of the movie is two hours by the way and not even one third covered, i was already crying tears of blood. yes. it was that good i swear. of course, you wouldn't cry if you're able to control your emotions but being me, who is extremely sensitive, i cried almost throughout the whole movie. yes, i ignored the time and watched it till the end. but how can you stop on a good movie when all you wanna know is how the ending like kan? haha. so i watched and cried like as though the world was about to end and mind you, instead of using a tissue, i used my bath towel to wipe off my tears ehh. HAHA. i know. sungguh tidak perlu. but i couldn't help it if i'm too emotionally sensitive sometimes you know! heheh.

oh well, it was a good heart breaking romantic love story indeed and i suggest for those who feels like having a good cry on a movie, ombak rindu is highly recommended. no regrets. heheh. anyway, i'm just done crying for the second time now (yes, i watched them again) before blogging and probably should head for bed now since my eyelids are pretty tired from crying. goodnight all. (:

.FRIDAY.301211.

2011-12-30T16:53:00.006+08:00

i'm just done cleaning up all the mess in my closet and came to realized that lots of my accessories went missing to god knows where it is now. i don't wanna accused anyone in this house in particular cause apparently, whoever took it is still part of my family members but for god damn sake, it would be nice if you would just have some courtesy of asking me instead of taking them without me knowing. it would be hell a lot more nicer if you don't touch them but being me, i'm not that selfish you know. especially when it comes to my family members. and if i by actual fact am selfish, would you honestly think that i would lay my stuffs around in my room for you guys to see? no. i don't. i would probably hid them somewhere so you guys wouldn't even know that i have them. but i am not that kind of person. so why is it so hard for you people to at least just inform me if you guys wanna borrow them? it's not like as though i'm gonna make sure you pay a rent or something. and i don't even ask anything in return do i? ugh. never mind that.

apart from my missing accessories, i also came to realized that i need to fill my wardrobe with plenty of new clothes. i'm seriously running out of clothes now. the old ones are just too old and using the same old one over and over again can be pretty much stressful you know. like, the same old azharmizan who got nothing new to wear apart from his singlets and jeans over and over again for the rest of the outing. well, not that people mind i guess but i just wanna look new every time you know. like that guy who people would be curious to see what the hell he'll be wearing on every outing. like how people would look forward to see what you'll be wearing or even better, envy with what you are wearing and all. yes that kind. hahaha. okay lets admit. who wouldn't want to look good on every outing right? but as much as i wanna go shopping like now, i can't. cause unfortunately, i'm broke. like seriously, officially broke. sighh. if only i was born rich. fuck ns for giving such little sum of money and fuck my life for not saving enough while i still can before enlistment. serve me right.

*sings. 'i wanna be a billionaire so freaking baddddd. buy all of the things i never haddddd'. hahaha. okay. seriously, fuck my life.

.FRIDAY.301211.

2011-12-30T01:33:00.005+08:00

random.

it has been awhile now.

current feeling; too cold. too silent.

and too lonely tonight.

.THURSDAY.291211.

2011-12-29T22:27:00.007+08:00

so i broke my virginity on heading to jb on my own, meeting these two lovebirds who just returned from their getaway from penang. and after 11 days of not meeting them - especially my facebook boyfriend, i gotta say, i really missed them like crazy. and being able to see them again at jb really spice up my day a whole lot better. of course. how can my day not be brighten when stepping to jb with only the three of us again gave a whole good flashback to the days where we had our short getaway to seremban together during our september holidays. or to be specific actually, it was their september holidays and a few days leave from work for me. hahaha. good times i'd say. really good times.

anyway. im glad you both are home safely. and though i didn't really heard much of how your trip went like, i really hope you guys had one of those lovely couple trip together. just promised me not to go off for too long in future okay? or at least not until i have a partner of my own. i can get pretty lonely sometimes you know. especially when you guys play a major role in my life right now, the feeling sucks a whole lot i'm telling you. like seriously a whole lot. hahaa. nevertheless, welcome back you guys and thanks for making my day. i love you guys. (:

.WEDNESDAY.281211.

2011-12-28T23:39:00.007+08:00

so the random feeling of scanning through my old blog post made me realized how much i actually miss blogging, a whole lot. and especially browsing through all the good old pictures i had on my blog - damn. can someone please give a slap on my face so as to remind me for good memories are meant to be jotted down somewhere already? haha. i'm guessing now that i should get back on track with blogging cause i'll be having more lovely outings, events, memories to be treasured especially ever since i've been enlisted for national service. i gotta say, my weekends will always filled with beautiful people and outings.

and yes. every young singaporean men have to serve the nation one day and unfortunately enough, i've been serving the national police force nearly two months now. prft. never mind that. i'll elaborate when time are not really tied up like now. apart from that, blog darling, just like the time i served soonsteel international, be prepared to be filled with lots of complaints, whining, and all those emotional rant in time to come okay? cause unfortunately, i'm gonna hate ns just as much as i hate soonsteel. even worst actually. i don't know. haha.

anyway. for now, i'm guessing my first post shall only be about how much i missed blogging and about me coming back to this whole blogging world. so look forward for my next post okay? and don't you worry dear blog, i'll blog even more wild(er) stuffs, and even sexier pictures in future - since no one really reads my blog anymore - therefore, i think i can be pretty open with whatever i wanna rant about. haha. till then, good night! (:

thursday; 17022011

2011-02-17T03:39:00.000+08:00

there are alot of things which i wish to rant out but havent got any chance of doing so recently due to the not-so-sure where to rant out situation until i realise that i do actually have a blog. yea i totally forgotten about it. damn me. prft.

anyway, things hasnt been fine lately for god damn knows what reason. ive been feeling alot more lonelier ever since i broke up with khai and i dont like it. yes, another relationship failure. screw me up already right? sigh. i initiate the broke up and felt guilty about it until i realised he's actually enjoying life, partying almost all weekend long. yea. people change in time to come but didnt know it would take within such a short period of time. and to think about how he took the broke up period real fast, im guessing i should too right? yea, that was what my friends told me to. we broke up on the 27th jan and he's already enjoying life right now. to be honest, im perfectly fine with khai having a hell of his time and all. but what still bothers me was the fact that he is in contact with my ex before him, raihan. and to think about how i used to share alot of stuffs with regards to how i detest him; seeing him contacting raihan is just not right for me. im not saying that raihan is a bad person cause afterall, he really makes a good friend but come to think about it, we used to feel the same way towards raihan. and now you're already friends with him? what the hell.

and and apart from that, khai used to cry alot about us being on the rock. seriously. all day long was tears and tears and tears. but within less than two weeks, he's already having a new affair. yes, a new affair. like zomg! that is just not right. not right at all. i mean, come to think of how you used to say about how anyone wouldnt be able to replace my place and now you're having an affair? somebody please slam me already! prftt. and now im thinking if the tears he brought out for me were crocodile tears. sigh. nevermind.

im guessing i should admit here that yes, im jealous. im jealous and extremely disappointed.

Define life and how do we grow without existence of love?

2011-02-11T18:39:00.001+08:00

Life is a journey we must accept and that pain and confusions are just temporary. If you are going through failure, don't give up. Cause every failure can be a stepping stone to something better. However, there is no life without the existence of love. And one cannot love without existence of life. So if you ask me, i would say one needs both love and life to live a fulfilling life.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2011-02-11T18:35:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/ZanAiden

MONDAY, 11012011

2011-01-11T00:43:00.004+08:00

11 days since 2011 and nothing much really happen lately. apart from the fact that i just realized my knowledge in english is getting way weaker than usual, besides that; i doubt there's anything else happen. and i came to a solution to read and blog more in order to improve my english knowledge. seriously. just the other day, some 17 year old youngster came up to me and enquire about some donation issues with such a perfect english usage and accent being used and i was like... what trash are you talking about? haha. okay im kidding. of course i do understand what she was rambling about but i was impress with the good chimp words she used. seriously. i dont even use very high words during communication. she really blew me away. and that was when i realized i really need to buck up on my english. haha.

so im back to blogging! (:

.TUESDAY.301110.

2010-11-30T16:30:00.005+08:00

im gonna resume my daily routine of blogging again pretty soon.
im pissed with school. working life hasnt been fair. and my life hasnt been a bliss. well, somehow i guess. but i'll blog everything pretty soon okay? i promise.
for now, i got lesson to concentrate on. so bye.

.FRIDAY.210510.

2010-05-21T03:05:00.003+08:00

i don't wanna emo tonight. but i feel soooooo, lonely.

.FRIDAY.210510.

2010-05-21T01:06:00.004+08:00

if in any case you dear earthlings didn't know, i broke up with my partner nearly a month back. and yes, i am single and i will put a ring on it. ahaha. okay fuck crap.

anyway, i have always thought of being attached was the best damn thing that could ever happened to me. serious shit. i mean, come to think of it in reality, you guys know for the very fact that i was pretty fat back then. like serious fat. and apart from being soft hearted (am still till now though), i wasn't the best damn dude for girls to be wow-ed at. and the only thing that was playing on my mind were all the negatives thoughts like you know, he's ugly, he's fat, soft hearted and no one would ever want him in life. prft.

well you see. all my life being as a teenager, i have always wanted to be in a relationship with someone. yea. i mean come on, when you see your bestfriends being happy with their life companion, its a lie if you've never been jealous. especially when you never had a relationship life before, the feeling of wanting to have one is there you know. but of course, you couldnt. cause how unfortunate, you're not like those gorgeous people who always go around telling people for, with a snap of their finger, ten would come. like wth? fuck their life.

so two years back, i came down with a thinking that if i am actually thin and good looking enough, i probably would be in a relationship. and of course, my efforts did paid off. i did came to have one. i swear, i was soo deeply in love with my partner. but when shit happens, i dont wanna carry on anymore. and when i actually dont have one anymore, i wanna have one again. like oh my prada. talk about confused? ahaha.

so you see. the thing about human being is, when they have with what they want in life, they wouldnt wanna have anymore.

.THURSDAY.200510.

2010-05-20T02:19:00.001+08:00

raihan raihan raihan, i miss you effen much.

.WEDNESDAY.190510.

2010-05-19T16:40:00.005+08:00

now. it has been a month since mummy's released and i gotta say, to have mummy's warmth love again is the best thing that i could ever asked for - yet. okayy, so there is 'yet' around. don't get me wrong. i mean, mummy has been real nice since her released. though to be honest, i can't think much of the nicest thing she has done for me yet. apart from cleaning the house chores, cleaning my room, cooking and all, there is someone who finally bothers to get my ass up early for school. lol. when you talk about house chores, to be honest with you dear earthlings, i have been the only one in this god damn house who actually bothers to do house cleaniness and all before mum was out. there is no denial on the very fact for everyone in this house is being pure damn lazy. and i mean EVERYONE. apart from grandmother but hell you can't expect much from an old lady you know. doing laundry and maintaning the kitchen cleaniness is more than enough if you asked me. and for the remaining in this house? i cant think of a better reason apart from - fat people = to lazy people (thats what mummy always says). ahaha. dont get me wrong, cleaning once a year? they're really good with those lazy schedule. ahahaha!

but oh well, since mummy's here now, i swear my burden is getting lesser. and i like it. dont get me wrong. i do not take any advantages of her. just that my time for house chores, is over you know. im a guy. you dont expect me, who goes to school everyday, and works almost everyday to come home and continue with house chores do you? ahaha. i got better things to do you know. (:

you see. thing is, having mummy around is awesome. i get to eat everyday, i dont have to worry much about the washing machine, the sink, the laundry, my room, house chores, oh my! she's totally gorgeous for not allowing me to touch anything that relates to cleaniness anymore! ahaha. oh god, you just know i love her dont you? ahaha.

.TUESDAY.180510.

2010-05-18T15:31:00.011+08:00

it has been a while since.

the sudden urge-to-blog feeling is back. and im guessing it wont be long cause apparently, i've been mentioning on the facts about blogging back over and over again but somehow, my words always contradicts with my actions. of course, if you have been a regular visitor, you would've noticed how contradicting i am so. but im guessing my blog is dead and that no one literally bothers to visit anymore. ahaha.

i used to remember those silly days where i had to blog like almost everyday in life - only because i knew my bestfriends would blog-hop to mine and that they'll tag before they leave. and that little things back then somehow gives a huge impact on me cause i do know how important i was to them in life. i mean, come to think of it in reality. you do love it when someone do actually visits your blog don't you? it symbolize that someone do wanna know how you've been doing in life, or how your life had been and all. especially when your bestfriend visits yours. and and i do believe, that little feeling of wanting-to-blog everyday happens - only because you know people do still bothers about how you're doing and all. ahaha.

but im guessing things change now. cause my bestfriends, apparently, they have some other important stuffs to deal with in life. like probably work, or school or even worse, new bestfriends - hows that? haha. nah, im not saying they've totally forgotten about me. don't get the wrong picture. im just saying for im less important now as to compared with how important i was to them before. and its okay. cause i truly understand how human nature is like in life. less meet up equals to less bonding. and less bonding equals to less important. fact isn't it? haha.

but its okay. less visits equals to more privacy given. of course you can switch your blog to private but hell whats the point exactly? i mean, if only you can read them, then how lonely can your life gets again? lol. one good reason why i dont set blogs to private. (:

oh well, class ending soon. im guessing the next time i'll blog would probably be arounddd.... i don't know. ahaha. i'll blog when i feel like blogging okay? lol.

cheers. (:

.MONDAY.121010.

2010-04-12T01:50:00.000+08:00

okay, so i lied about coming back to the blog world and blog about all the shits that has happened around me in life. but i think you should know for i've been really busy with everything that is happening around me lately. my schedules are really really tight and damn i swear, i dont even have much of a time to spend with my partner. sigh.

i've been working 2 jobs lately not because i purposely wanna tire myself out but because of the little income i brought home if i were to have only one job. thats the reason why i need two job. i don't know. mum's release will be aprroximately around 7 days and hell i'm soo not ready. of course, what do you expect after 7 years of not having to hear her naggings and all right? lol. nevermind that. bottom line is, im preety much happy with how fast time travels around us. i mean, you gotta agree with my sayings right? haha.

anyhoo. things had been all sucked up lately and i dont even know where to began with. im stress over school stuffs, over work stuffs, over mum, over raihan. dang, i have alot in mind to think. if only things are like how we planned them to be, i'll be the happiest guy to live on earth i swear. lol.

anyhoo, i'll blog again soon. i gotta go settle some stuffs right now and probably would be able to on my notebook again either tomorrow or the next. so, await for my return okay? (:

goodnight.

.220310.

2010-03-22T01:44:00.001+08:00

okay. my blog is not dead. i'll blog as soon as my tight schedules are over. okay?

.

2010-02-15T01:40:00.001+08:00

my schedules are very tight. i'll be back. i promise.

.WEDNESDAY.130110.

2010-01-13T20:37:00.000+08:00

we had to attend to one of our relatives wedding function that was held at boon lay on 2nd of january and below are all the related pictures to the function. apparently, kakak was the only one who was with traditional clothes on cause on she had to help out with stuffs like picking up plates and all. lol. i'm not gonna say much with regards to this day though cause there's nothing exciting to talk about actually.

there. pictures done with their talkings. im off.
cheers. (:

.TUESDAY.120110.

2010-01-12T23:02:00.000+08:00

school was literally fine - only because classes ended early.

we had our Digital Communication project presentation done in class today and i gotta admit, it was smooth i supposed. well somehow. raymond shot out quite a number of questions which left us speechless. prft. nevermind that. it's over anyway. only hope im holding onto my hands, is to get a fair result with regards to my digital communication project. afterall, i did my best - even though its a last minute effort. lol.

i met sayang after school last night and hell i gotta say, even though i didn't had much of a conversation done with my partner, time spend was still love. i love my partner and i know my partner loves me too. (:

anyhoo. im feeling rather tired right now. guess im heading for bed early tonight. i love you people. goodnight! (:

.MONDAY.110110.

2010-01-11T01:20:00.000+08:00

okay. the only major event that has been happening around me since new year began is that i'm officially attached to someone on 010110. yup. so an official affair begins for me and honey. am hoping to last long cause i seriously love honey so freaking much! (:

anyhoo. school is holding onto a field trip to Laos around march and i'm hoping very much to be the selected few. haven't been to anywhere above malaysia lately and am currently missing the overseas environment so much. of course i love travelling you know. especially with my ite friends, damn i gotta say. the only goods i do with them are all pure evil - not the kind of person i am actually. haha. but whatever.

raymond texted mentioning for there will be a briefing with regards to laos on june 11th. (note: june 11th). and the wonders goes for how can a briefing falls on june 11th when the field trip falls on march. right? haha. i correct him and received a text mentioning with regards to the typo error and that the briefing falls on 11 jan (which is tomorrow). venue: ite tampines. time: 4pm-6pm. kns. im gonna spend the whole day, listening to raymond's lecture which is from 8am to 1pm, then may thet tin's lecture from 2-4, and then ONLY off to ite tampines 4-6. damn it. long day its gonna be then. ugh. never like monday. seriously. the only happy thing that can ever happen on monday is enjoying the monday blue moments. prft.

im off to bed for now. need to have my beauty sleep you know. i'll update once im home from school okay? lots and lots of loves.

.SUNDAY.100110.

2010-01-10T23:56:00.001+08:00

i swear i almost forgot for i actually have a god damn blog! lol.

im guessing for im back to my daily routine (somehow i hope) of blogging. been missing using the proper english with the correct words at the correct time. haven't been speaking english for quite sometime and i swear, my vocabs and grammar are all bo chup! of course, this shit happens only after im messing with a bunch of pure-malay-people-who-only-talks-malay both in school and work. lol. but its okay. im guessing right after a few post here and there, i'll be back with the usage of typing and speaking proper english - i hope! ahaha.

haven't been updating much. of course, the feeling of not being able to share you loves with regards to what happened during my missing in action moments kinda sucks. especially when i miss blogging so freaking much, there is just soo many stuffs and pictures to blog about! haha.

i'll do it when im done bathing okay? loves.

.MONDAY.211209.

2009-12-21T03:55:00.003+08:00

i wanna get back with my blogging life. and this time, its for real.

i know i have been saying stuffs like, there is soo many things to blog about and all but didnt really meant it in any way. and the wonders goes all around if im actually a man with my words. lol. deepest apology. i guess you dear earthlings should know for ive been really really busy with work and all. besides, my lappy creates this shit which i dont know for what reason the connection just have to delay for almost like all the time. its super annoying if you asked me. lol.

nevermind that.

anyhoo, a change of a song should be done with a proper comeback right? i'll be back right after im done with the songs okay?

cheers.

.TUESDAY.081209.

2009-12-08T12:12:00.002+08:00

i havent been going to school for 2 days straight not because i was pure lazy or anything but how unfortunately, i woke up late. well you see, the only reason i was able to have my face appear in class for the past few months was due to the wake up call my elder sister gave every beautiful morning. and since all my families been away to malaysia for a vacation, im left alone at home only to depend on my handphone's alarm clock. which of course, is not effective enough for me (though its freaking annoying) cause i tend to deactivate my alarm clock right after i hear the first beep. it's a habit i can't resist doing it you seeee.. haha.

oh well. i'll blog later when i get home. now im off to get myself ready for poly. need to get an mc you know. else my attendance will have a drastic drop. ugh.

.TUESDAY.011209.

2009-12-01T16:04:00.008+08:00

'Imy, Ily. Im going crazyy every minute thinking of you.'

a text received from this particular someone in the morning timed, 10:37am

and oh! it made my day today. haha.

honey. im deeply in love with you

and badly missing you too.

.TUESDAY.011209.

2009-12-01T15:39:00.005+08:00

finally.

1st december. i can't elaborate on how happy i am for time to fly real fast. seriously. i gotta say, two years course really sucks. especially when you're not in an environment where you wanna be. im telling you, for time to fly real fast would be the happiest thing that could've ever happened to me right now.

im dying in school. especially when projects are all pile up and supposed to be complete by the end of this term. ugh. dozens of test are like around the corner and damn, i haven't even lay a finger on my books. everything are suppose and will be done by this coming 11th. tell me, how am i not supposed to get all stressed up again? prft.

oh wells, my powerpoint is down and am currently waiting for my dearest bff, adem faichal to appear his face in my house. i'll be using his lappy to do some important stuffs. lucky thing he's reliable. lol. its 0346pm right now and the average journey time taken from his school to my house would roughly be, lets say, an hour from now? i dont know. im hoping for him to appear asap. cause i seriously wanna get done with this project thingy.

anyhoo. one thing i wanna share with you dear earthlings today. you know, for the recent past months i've been complaining and ranting about how bad my attendance have always been, and how i am always late for classes and stuffs right? well. not anymore. i've been able to maintain my attendance above 95% and damn, im happy! like serious shit. i mean, finally there is something i can be proud of myself! haha. i shall and must maintain this standard. you'll see i ace my exams with flying colours the next time i rant about school. haha. just wait and see.

oh wells, im hungry. guess i wanna go get some food to munch on. will blog later alright?

cheers! (:

2009-11-24T11:14:00.000+08:00

will blog later.

.TUESDAY.071109.

2009-11-10T04:04:00.005+08:00

It's November. Like FINALLY.

i didnt attend to school just now only because i was late for class. pathetic i know. and i took an mc at jurong polyclinic which cost a total of $12.20. adult consultation fee. $9,50. damn expensives or what? prft. now im missing my underage life.

oh well, i'll blog tomorrow. it's 0407am and i need my beauty sleep. so goodnight. (:

and oh oh. im missing you like crazy already. (:

.MONDAY.261009.

2009-10-26T23:22:00.000+08:00

typical monday blues really bores to death. like seriously.

long hours in school is such a total killer i should say. prft. nevermind that.

anyhoo. it has only been the first day of school and im like officially broke for the rest of the week. serious shit. i got no money left for mrt fares, bus fares, and even lunch for myself. yes. that bad. to think of how little i spend yesterday really gives me the thought about whether or not should i shop again. i spend money like water last night and now suffering from financial issues. prft.

damn. i dont feel like blogging for tonight.

.SUNDAY.251009.

2009-10-25T23:55:00.000+08:00

just want you to know,

that every minute spend today was loved.

the movie outing, the walks, the talks.

oh! damn im loved it.

you take care. and thanks for everything.

much loves.

.THURSDAY.221009.

2009-10-22T23:02:00.001+08:00

was supposed to head off for dbl o with ite mates but how unfortunately, a few of us are currently facing with financial issues which of course, got the date postpone to next thurs. prft. so dbl o post would be up on next thurs alright dear earthlings?

anyhoo. today marks the 22nd october. and for we know, 22nd october is our dear joycelyn agnes ferdinand john's birthday. so, happy 18th birthday darling. may your future endeavors be filled with full and laughters always. also note for i will always love my bestfriend no matter what happens alrighto? (:

sorry if today's short celebration wasn't up to your wanting cause time given for us to planned was super duper short. seriously. but nevertheless, i do hope you did enjoyed what we had for you. haha. take care. i love you. (:

.MONDAY.191009.

2009-10-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

typical monday blues really bores to death.
but howsoever, im surprise to how i managed to survive throughout the whole 10 hours of lecture just now. an acievement i should be proud of i should say. ahah! tomorrows lesson cancelled and damn, only 3 days of schooling for this week. best or what huh? haha. seriously. even though at times i always complain for school sucks big time, and that classmates and all haven't been that nice lately. schools are much preety okay to endure on recently. (:

anyhoo. this coming thurs dbl o. i wanna party like fuck. hahaahahaha. (:

.MONDAY.191009.

2009-10-19T23:34:00.000+08:00

sunday was fine.

i had my time wasted together with both jojo and adem. west coast park macd wasn't as packed as how i thought it would be when we arrived. seats for smoking area was 3/4 empty. like best or what right? lol.

every minute spend was loved. the catching up moments really worth meeting up. we talked about olden days (the days where i was super fat back then) the most. had a super great laughed at the old pictures that was being blogged out in my olden post. seriously funny i should say. haha.

oh wells. pictures had done their talkings sooo, i won't type much. cheers. (

.SATURDAY.171009

2009-10-17T11:35:00.003+08:00

i swear im freaking sleepy.

work is getting even more tiring as days passes. really. *yawn.

i think short post will do for today. i wanna have a long hours of sleep. especially when tomorrow's gonna be a long day for me and adem. damn him. that guy is really getting even more bossy-er (or however you put them) nowadays. seriously. well you see. we are supposed to meet up like since tuesday. and the initial plan was to head down for swimming. but howsoever, it has been raining cat and dogs recently and the postponing of the meeting up hasn't been really a good plan for us. so.. he decided to go elsewhere (not for a swim) only to refurnish his damn ugly blog. like of course, this plan only happens right after he saw how beautiful my blog turned out to be. prft. jealousy? tell me about it. haha. second thing, he never agrees with places i suggest for us to head to. every places i suggest can never be okay with him. like the library for example? i've been missing books lately and the thought of going to library to borrow a novel was turned down by him only because we cannot laugh loudly in the library. like double you-ff-tee(wtf)? an ass he is indeed. prft.

but oh wells.im used to his moronic attitude. haha. adem, kau bestfriend aku kan? tak marah eh? haha.

im off to bed for now. very sleepy. cheers. (:

.FRIDAY.161009.

2009-10-16T12:00:00.000+08:00

im very very very sleepy.

i'll blog soon okay loves?

mor-night.

.THURSDAY.151009.

2009-10-15T03:25:00.012+08:00

there.

last raya outing with bffs. pictures are not in order. don't mind me though cause frankly, i have no idea how the jumble up of the pictures came about. lol.

anyhoo, yet again, im kinda not in the mood to blog about what happened during this day. its nearly to 4am right now and yes school are like in a matter of hours. beauty sleeps calls soon. guess i'll be off for now. so, enjoy the pictures.

cheers. (:

.THURSDAY.151009.

2009-10-15T02:36:00.008+08:00

and 2nd day of raya pictures are as per below.

let the pictures do the talkings alright? haha. (:

done.
cheers to all. (:

.THURSDAY.151009.

2009-10-15T01:54:00.008+08:00

now as promised,

here are the overdue pictures for 1st day of EID celebration.

mind the camera quality. really sucks i know but oh well. the least, my pictures still can be seen right?

haha. (:

unfortunately, i wasn't really fully myself on the first day of raya. reason being, i was feeling preety unwell. and that happens only after i went for prayers in the morning. like how unfortunate right? i guess you earthlings can tell by taking a glance on how i pose with my eyes not fully open almost most of the pictures above. haha. not much of houses was being visited besides the important ones of course. this was mainly due to the lack of time that was given to visit. we went out of our house like what? 6 in the evening? stupid i know. whatever.
anyhoo, seeking for forgiveness has always been the suckiest moment i should say. never can i hold back my tears. like seriously. and the one that always have to start the ball rolling with waterfall tears is our non than other, eldest sister. haha. though it worth the tears cause you know, when you seek for forgiveness and cry at the same time, the believe-ness that we are actually asking for forgiveness is there. but one thing for sure, it washes off your gorgeous face. prfft. lucky thing guy don't have to wear make ups. lol.
oh wells, nothing much happen on the first day. kinda bores actually. but i did have a little fun though. haha.
cheers. (:

.WEDNESDAY.141009.

2009-10-14T23:55:00.004+08:00

i was super confident for class starts at 0930am just now when on the actual fact, class begins at 0800am sharp. i know, how pathetic of me to not check the time table right? lol. nevermind that.

anyhoo. classmates hasn't been that nice lately. not in terms of noise creating, misbehaving, or all the naugthy stuffs that ite students usually creates but in terms of how they're looking down at people with not the same standard as theirs. you know, those smart alec with the smart alec ones. and people that are not smart like me are with the no smart ones.

well you see, we have this project that is supposed to be done by the end of the term. one of the major projects i should say. and groupings are to be sorted out by the 4 pointers. im not mentioning names of who are assigned to do so cause i don't think theres a need to said so.

anyway, one point that i frankly think is not fair is, how come the 4 pointers get to do stuffs that we, below than 2 pointers can't? how come they get to pick their own team members and we can't? whats worse, all the 3 and 4 pointers are grouping together whereas below than the mentioned pointers are left to be group among themselves. thats one point that i seriously think is unfair. secondly, only yesterday, one of the 4 pointers asked me if im okay being in the group with mar, shamin, and blablabla. people with an average score points. people that has the same standard as me. to be straight, people that are with 2 pointers and below. i asked latif if this is fair and he even agrees to the actual fact that it isn't. seriously. i don't mind being in a group with anyone. of course when it comes to having to know my classmates well enough, i seriously don't mind at all. but hey, come to think of it in general knowledge and logical term. with the group that i've been placed at, don't you people think its a little bit unfair there? preety obvious isn't it? prft.

i don't really wanna blog about this but to think of how biase my classmates can be, i think i should share with you dear earthlings. whatever. i seriously couldn't care less. besides, not worth the price to talked about this to anyone in ite. clearly state that you get what you see. you people wanna be biase. fine. lets play the game. you set the rules, im on with it. just don't think i can't produce what you guys can.

im done here. no hard feelings. nothing personal. really.

cheers.

.WEDNESDAY.141009.

2009-10-14T07:01:00.002+08:00

its 0645am right now and hell, im like still on with my lappy.

yea. precisely, what the hell am i doing at this kinda hour right? especially when school are like in a matter of minutes. i so need a good firm slap on my face! lol. whatever to that. lets rest assure, im soo not gonna be late for school no more. especially right after raymond talked to me with regards to the improvement attitude that i've been producing lately, no way am i gonna be late anymore. haha.

oh well. perhaps. just perhaps the reason why i wasn't able to sleep is duely to not being able to use the lappy much lately. and the feeling of wanting to shut this thingy down aches my heart so deeply, especially right after i spend a few bucks with the reparations on this lappy (though the cause of the missing NTLDR in this system wasn't fully my fault), i couldnt resist using them for hours! lol.

i swear, there's so many things i wanna blog about and share with you lovelies right now but how unfortunately, the short time given doesnt allows me to do so.

i promise. i'll blog right after im home from swimming with adem later alright?

for now, im off to prepare for school.

cheers. (:

.WEDNESDAY.141009.

2009-10-14T05:16:00.001+08:00

and....
im done with refreshing ups on this blog!
colors, grunge design, pictures are all loved. especially the edits on the pic. damn gorgeous i should say. really. haha! of course, yet again, credits to yours truly, me. (:
mind the song, really have no idea what song should i stick to at the moment but oh well. run this town should be perfect. especially with the designs in my blog, musics and design are very matching i should say! lol.
anyhoo, i off to take a nap. school starts in a matter of hours and damn, don't wanna be late no more for this whole new semester. especially when im aiming to ace this course, absenteesm is a so-not-allowed thing to do. haha. i'll blog the overdue hari raya pictures preety soon alright dear earthlings?
cheers. (:

.TUESDAY.131009.

2009-10-13T16:50:00.004+08:00

im done with colours.

tagboard, pictures will be done later right after im done with my beauty sleep.

lets restassure everything would be done before midnight.

cheers to all. (:

.TUESDAY.131009.

2009-10-13T14:47:00.004+08:00

i need to do some refreshing up with my blog right now. getting dull-er as days passes. will be right back with a post after changes has been made alright dear earthlings?

cheers. (:

.SUNDAY.130908.

2009-09-13T06:43:00.003+08:00

im bored. not bored as in bored with nothing to do in particular, but bored with having to spend my life working almost like everyday. im sick and tired of not being able to hang out with my friends when they asked me out. im sick and tired of not being able to enjoy the nightlife im supposed to have as an official teenager supposed to. really. i wanna party. i wanna drink with my friends at club and got home drunk, wake up, hangover the next day. i wanna do things that are supposed to be done at this age. but how? how am i supposed to when boon lay calls every now and then? how am i supposed to take leave when almost everyday, i have to be the replacement of my collegue at work? i've been asked out for a date, party, late-night out, you name it, every weekends. but somehow fails to give a positive answer only because, leaves are forbidden to be taken during the weekends. tell me, at this age, dont i deserve better? seriously. woking night shift really proves for you are having a lifeless life. and i admit for the actual fact that i dont have a life. not at all. sigh. i need a life. like, A LIFE! ugh.

.SATURDAY.120908.

2009-09-12T08:19:00.005+08:00

let's rest assure, i'll be back with my daily routine of blogging starting as of today. haha. (:
anyhoo, not been able to blog daily during the olden days is sooo not me. i used to remember the days where i kept on complaining about how i missed blogging damn much if i ever fails to blog for a short period of time. haha! but oh wells, things changed for now. especially ever since my schedules are always been filled with school stuffs and work. i should say, i can hardly find time to blog nowadays. haha. besides, nothing much had happen lately. only things that i've encountered so far are,
1) exams are like finally over.
2) 5 weeks of holiday begins since wednesday.
3) boon lay power nasi lemak calls.
4) got my new (ugly) haircut.
5) happy cause my hari raya costume alterations are done!
except for the actual fact that the alterations for my baju raya are not properly being altered out but oh hell, i couldnt really care less cause you know, im growing older like every year. and the excitement i used to have for raya are getting lesser and lesser only because i have to always think about money for raya every now and then recently. like helping my elder sister with purchasing household furnitures are not enough already? prfft. nevermind that.
my room calls for a new makeover. and im thinking of getting a new wardrobe, bed, and a make-up table. mind the make up table. im sharing room with my younger sister you see. and when we talk about girls, you know the stuffs they need in their rooms. like the make up, perfumes, facial lotion and blablabla. prrfft. i swear, having to share room with a girl really brings the shit out. apart from that, i don't have the privacy and space i need for my own. haha. go figure what i mean. (:
anyway, i'll blog soon. need to be off now cause house chores are calling. just dont miss me to much yea? haha. okay aku mrepek.

bye!

.MONDAY.170809.

2009-08-17T02:38:00.004+08:00

i was bored a few minutes ago and randomly clicking on a few videos which i then came across to one that impress me alot. let me share with you lovelies this.

damn good right these kids? seriously. they made me wanna watch this video a few dozens of times. haha. anyhoo. i know it kinda irritate watching this video and at the same time, clashes with my blog song. so what you lovelies can simply do is, restore down this window application. directly beside my navigation box, you'll be able to see the button pause. hit them and the music stops.
cheers. (:

.THURSDAY.130809.

2009-08-13T02:35:00.005+08:00

i just have to blog about this.

for the first time in this semester, i came early for school! haha. break the record baby! the moment i took my first step in the class, mr goh was like, "wah azhar.. so early ah today?". asshole. really. i couldnt help myself but just smiling widely, making my way to my seat. haha. nevermind that.

i just came to realise something. you know, i have this facial appearance that whenever any strangers took one fast glance on me, first thought in their mind would be, "oh, he's a good boy. can tell by his looks". seriously. haha. never deny that fact before. lol.

i was sitting, doing my class assignment that was given out to us earlier on when suddenly raymond talked about students of ite macpherson currently creating the shits out to residents at macpherson. shits like sitting under the void deck making noise and all. social gatherings, self studying with friends are the good parts. the bad ones is when we littered bottles, tissue wrappers, ciggarrate buds all over the floor. raymond immediately asked the malay guys whom im also very close with infact. "eh. you all smoke right?". they're already denying the fact and all which of course, didnt turned out to be convincing enough to raymond. haha. i ignored them and continued with my stuffs when suddenly, "azhar, do you smoke?". i turned, looked at him, gave him one kind of a pathetic look and even before i can finish my sentence which is "do you actually think i-" "cannot be lah. i can tell who's innocent and who's not. azhar dont smoke". HAHA! i was laughing my ass out. he pointed out his fingers to all four of my malay friends except me and warned them not to smoke in public. laugh out loud man! haha. im such an ass. seriously. i mean, im good at playing split personalities you know. being a two-face-bitch? no problemo! lol.

tak sia sia je aku join drama club pat jurong west secondary. haha! (:

cheers.

.WEDNESDAY.120809.

2009-08-12T02:48:00.006+08:00

mar, you are such an ass. seriously. you dissapoint me big time. if you want things to turn out that way, then fine. i shall make the first move by taking back all the steps i had with you. cause what you've said earlier on, clearly declare that you only come and go as and when you like. bear in mind for i am not your material friend. whatever gonna happen next really doesnt give the shits to me anymore. i seriously couldnt care less. mark my words and bring them deep down with you.

im done blogging. will do some refreshing up when tomorrow arrives.

cheers.

.SUNDAY.020809.

2009-08-02T23:42:00.001+08:00

okay. this post is random.

foreigners are always given the perception for singapore is a friendly neighbourhood country. if there is ever a debate with regards to this motion, you shall be the proposition, and i shall stay at the opposition. seriously.

come to think of it, try watching how singaporeans behave early in the morning at mrt stations. especially when youre at the green lane, jurong east interchange. i swear, behaviours of a babarians are thousand times way better than how singaporeans behave. though posters, images, and even video clips of our very own comedian, gurmit singh dressed as phua chu kang being publicise out in mrt stations, informing us to let the passengers exit first before moving in, or giving up your own seat to someone elses who needs it more than you do, i dont see the practice being carried out at all.

last friday, when i was standing in the mrt on my way home, there was this man, lets say at around his late 20s la, was sitting at this priority seat, browsing through his handphone. and then theres this old lady came in, standing infront of him. instead of giving up his seat, he actually kept his handphone and pretends to sleep. like what the hell? seriously. you shouldve seen how he reacts and all. super pathetic la. like seriously.

singaporeans, freaking inhuman at times.

.THURSDAY.300709.

2009-07-30T17:53:00.003+08:00

in a matter of minutes,

i'll be meeting my secondary school preetyhead bestfriend,

nurshafiqah sahar.

and damn i can't wait! haha.

jangan lambat eh juboh!

cheers! (:

.THURSDAY.300709.

2009-07-30T03:09:00.004+08:00

new song.

save the hero by beyonce knowles.

so like it, love it, hate it, whatever.

just enjoy.

cheers.

now, for real. goodnight.

.THURSDAY.300709.

2009-07-30T02:33:00.004+08:00

i've type about something which had been bothering me ever since i came home right after meeting up with mar at starbucks just now but decided not to publish them up. i mean, whats the point of embarrasing youself to the extend when you've already been embarrassed about it? seriously. if its only gonna make a big impact to one party, then i shall just be a good by not saying anything. haha. afterall, you need two hands to clap.
sooooooooo, lets drop everything and be happyyyyyyyyy!

haha hehe haha hooo!

goodnightttttttt! (:

.THURSDAY.300709.

2009-07-30T01:49:00.004+08:00

to be honest, i am very particular with the junk foods that im stuffing up into my mouth ever since i lost like nearly up to 30kg. junk food like chocolates, ice cream, tibits are strictly forbidden and that i can only enter them into me once in awhile. carbohydrates are rarely touch-able cause if for instance, i dont do any exercising, that carbohydrate would then turned into fats. apart from rice, things i rarely eat are also foods that produce fats such as, chicken, beef, all those fried fingers licking. and when i say fried fingers licking, i mean nuggets, fried chicken, french fries and all. so if for instance, you were to ask me, what do i usually eat? i would say, sandwich. sandwich for one day and thats that. plain water are majorly being swallowed cause when it made my tummy bloated, looking at the big tummy, i then dont feel like eating even though it kills when hunger strikes.

but to think about it again, whats the point? really. whats the major point im trying to prove exactly? starve myself to death? turn anorexic? ugh. i dont know. not being able to stuff your favorites into your mouth is not gonna make a person happy. not at all. and since im feeling a little bit heartbroken and all due to something that the world should'nt know, i've decided for tomorrow would be azhar's fattening day! note: (tomorrow only.) im gonnna junk what i craved for after so long. chocolates, ice cream, finger food, you name it. all will be in my tummy. afterall, eat if it makes you happy. righhhtt? haha.

cheers. goodnight.

.WEDNESDAY.290709.

2009-07-29T05:26:00.002+08:00

dearest azharmirzan.
always remember to draw a line,
and know your limits.
goodnight.

.TUESDAY.270709.

2009-07-28T03:10:00.001+08:00

yesterday would mark the first monday i went to school ever since school reopens exactly 3 weeks ago. haha. pathetic i know. tell me about it. lol.

anyhoo. like always, typical monday blues are always such a bore. i woke up extremely early yesterday. and when i say early, i meant as early as 6am. but yet, knowing azharmirzan, he can never be punctual for school regardless on whether or not he woke up early. prft. nevermind that. raymond is currently facing with high fever for one week which at first, brings joy to the whole class cause all his vjp lessons would obviously have to be cancelled. but however, news had been spread around for class will be as per normal and niklaus would cover up lessons for the whole week. damn it. prffttt.

i hate info communication. never like a single bit of it. and the feeling of being placed in an environment where you dont wanna be is really, ughhhh. sick! prft.

singapore. forever no freedom of choice.

.SUNDAY.260709.

2009-07-26T23:12:00.004+08:00

i am such an idiot. like totally.

todays date marks 26th of july. i was in the cab with my younger sister, on our way to work when suddenly, i just got reminded that today is lynno's 18th birthday. it was nearly 6pm by then. im already like, what the fuck was i thinking?! somekind of a bestfriend i am indeed. prft.

anyhoo lynno darling, im really sorry for the late text message, seriously. i didnt meant to forget your birthday on purpose. i didnt know what came over me. especially when i kept reminding the rest and all that yours is coming, how can i forget right? prft.

Happy 18th Birthday lynno. i know i havent been talking to you and all lately but i guess you should know that i miss you damn freaking much. take care honey. much loves. (:

.FRIDAY.240709.

2009-07-24T01:20:00.003+08:00

khairul azhar.

where the toot are you?

you're supposed to online ass!

you're soo dead for keeping me waiting.

pantat. hahaha. (:

.THURSDAY.230709.

2009-07-23T23:52:00.000+08:00

nothing much happened in school apart from getting my ass running around the running field for 4 rounds. prft. arif is pathetic. during physics, i told him i can't wait to do p.e. he agrees and asked me to jog with him for 4 rounds. i was targeting for 5 actually but knowing he dont really have the stamina to do so, i agreed. so blablabla, while going on for the 3rd round, he said, "azhar, ni last round eh. aku dah takleh ah." i wanted to laugh out loud. reason being, before p.e and all, he kept on emphasizing on the fact on how he trained very hard only to keep fit during ns. not only ns but kept on mentioning on the fact that he did statistics like pull up, sit up, push up, all those blablabla at home and stuffs almost everyday in his life. im like already whatever cause frankly, im not interested in people boasting about stuffs they shouldnt. especially when he dont have the body figure. haha. so when he told me he was tired, im already like, okayy. and you claimed yourself to be fit. haktoooooooi man! asshole. ahaha! (:
im off. gotta sleep early for school tomorrow. cheers!

and oh oh! happy 17th birthday to gorgeous sister! may your future endeavours be filled with full of joy and laughters always. i love you. (:

.SUNDAY.210709.

2009-07-21T00:00:00.003+08:00

i wanna share with you world something.

you wanna know the reason behind why am i always complaining that im freaking tired and lazy to get my butt off for school especially on mondays? take a look on the video that i've uploaded for you lovelies to see. (:

see those long queues? yes. these are the hungry customers for boon lay power nasi lemak (the place where im working at). every weekends, i have to face with hundreds of hungry customers. and mind you, the queue will be as long as this roughly from 6pm onwards till 2am in the morning. sometimes, if our luck is bad, we have to face shits till 3am.
im working in a hawker center, a non air-conditioning environment. and i have to stand throughout the whole night only for these customers. standing is already one thing. hands moving, strech with tongs only to get the food they want, freaking hot oils and rice landing on your hands, fingers and foot is such a torture. seriously.
so you see, if for instance, i woke up late for school the next day, it explains everything. but however, human being-they can only say soo much to not understand how or what obstacles we are facing with.
idiot.

.MONDAY.210709.

2009-07-20T23:54:00.002+08:00

damn it la!

i don't wanna school anymore.

i don't want

i don't want!

ugh.

.MONDAY.200709.

2009-07-20T02:20:00.003+08:00

school is in the matter of hours and yet im still up with my lappy on. prft. i know, it explains everything on why am i always late for school. haha. whatever.

anyhoo, life have been such a bore lately due to not-being-able-to-hang-out-with-family-and-friends situation. not that im happy with the schedules that im facing with now. i mean, come to think of it. when i was in my secondary school days, i have always been those happy with everything i have in life. seriously. im like those other boys who got nothing to worry about. lets say for instance, if my friends asked me out and stuffs, i can always slot my time for them in between my schedules. never were busy. but good things always come to an end. weekdays now are spend schooling. weekends are spend working. and when i say weekends, i meant friday, saturday and sunday. like what the hell i know. earlier on, i was asked to be tagged along to the library with my friends. but invitation had to be turned down majorly only because im working. i know, i shouldn't have gone to work and all. but i can't. i need money for my transportation fares. i need money for my school expenses. and i need money for my own expenses too. i can't possibily rely on my families forever can i? i need to learn to be independent. prft.

life is such a torture.

im off. goodnight.

.WEDNESDAY.150709.

2009-07-16T01:32:00.003+08:00

school was shitty today.
raymond called me just to have a one on one talk with regards to my poor attendance.
80% - engineering essentials
83% - lifeskills
90% - SLW (p.e)
93% - visual java programming.
he told me i dont have to worry about vjp and slw. only major worries is to be placed for both ee and lifeskills. and apart from that, he actually mentioned on the fact about how the school would reconsider about giving me a chance on whether or not i deserve to take my examinations. else, debarment letter would be mailed to me personally. prft.
i know i have been skipping school like freaking too often but hell its not like as though i do it on purpose la. woke up late is a not good enough excuse. yea. totally agree with the lecturers but seriously, its easier said cause you guys are not the one facing the overshot hours. i am. and did you guys ever at least once, just ask whats the reason for me waking up late? no. so how can you actually assume that i woke up late on purpose? i did not okay. i work like a dog the night before school only to have enough pocket money for my school expenses la. asses.
human nature - only look at the bad sides of the individual and not the good ones.
oh whatever. no point blogging about it. act like as though my classmates or teachers would view my blog. prft.
i made up my mind. if, for instance, i will be debar from taking my examinations, then i wouldnt wanna continue info-comm. i mean, whats the point? i would still have to retake my first year if i continue. might as well i take my foot off that place right? haha.
im done blogging. (:

.TUESDAY.140709.

2009-07-14T22:30:00.002+08:00

im back to blogging.

school hasn't been fine lately. not because the studies are tough or whatsoever but due to the no-interest-in-studying-info-communcation feeling. i have never like that course. not my cup of tea at all. like seriously. and apart from that, mr raymond told me that my attendance is serious shit and already at the border line. which of course, explains that if i were to skip school one more time, i'll be debar from taking my examinations like officially. ugh. well, its not that i don't wanna head down to school or what, but sometimes, waking up in the morning can be such a real torture you know. really. and besides, my friends and teachers in ite macpherson have been such a pain in the ass lately. seriously. hating people is soo not me. but sometimes, they just made me feel likeee ........ oh nevermind.

i seriously dont feel like schooling in ite anymore.

2009-07-13T22:53:00.000+08:00

okay. as promised. overdue pictures for my 18th birthday. haha.

now. my birthday outing was a blast. at least thats what i thought larr. though it was a last minute planning but everything still went smoothly. except for the fact on one particular part, while we were having our dinner, dila kinda spill the beans out about the surprise they had planned for me, which is of course, having ahmad bringing a surprise birthday cake for me. fool her. haha!

but nevertheless, even though the the surprise was being spilled out, i still had fun though. only shit is that i had to be off as early as 0830pm for work. prrffttt.

now, enjoy the pictures. (:

there! lovely pictures.
every minute spend was loved. seriously. the gathering, never-ending picture taking. crapness of individual like how sharmeen wore high heels and end up, having blisters on her foot and had to buy a new shoe only for that day. haha. and oh oh! talking about shoe, if you guys look at the pictures above clearly, ahmad and adem actually wore the same shoe. and the wonders goes all about if they went to bought the same shoe togetherr. haha!
oh wells, nothing much to say actually. memories to be kept indeed. (:

.TUESDAY.300609.

2009-06-30T02:50:00.005+08:00

my oh my.
ages so has it been. damn it. haha. i know, missing in action really pisses people off. whats more when it comes to a well known dude like yours truly. HAHA! okay crap. self-praise, international disgrace. remember that azharmirzan.
anyhoo. lets rest assure, im back to basic soon. since school is like around the corner, my daily routine of blogging habit will be back preety soon. that, i can assure you homies. (:
nothing much happen lately these holidays. besides working like a horse, all i do during my off day is sit at home, either stare at my laptop, or on the television. of course manybe one or two i did went out and had fun with families and friends. other than that, nothing! prft. yea, life kinda boring. but oh well, life is life. haha!
i went threading (refer to above picture) just now and damn, it was freaking painful la sey! thing is, my eyebrows already freaking long and messy and i couldnt remember when was the last time i went. so, when they you those string or whatever you called it to zap off my eyebrows, i was like, 'oh fuck what just happened?'. seriously. sometimes, i wonder how girls with thick eyebrows can endure those painful moments while threading. serious shit.

but oh wells, on the brighter note, im done with threading baybeh! haha. though i dont really like the arc shape that was created, cause it made me look like a girl but hell, whats done cannot be undone. i'll be okay with the new eyebrows. somehow. haha. (:

i'll blog on the outings which happened during my holidays on the next post alright? for now, i wanna go bathe. i smell like a dog man! haha.
cheers! (:

.FRIDAY.220509.

2009-05-22T02:39:00.003+08:00

i didn't went to school yet again yesterday. and that was only because i was pure damn lazy. ass i know!

nevermind that. anyhoo. it has come to my attention that i haven't been eating rice for 6 days straight. like whoa! haha. a friend once told me that rice contains tons of carbohydrates. and that if we were to eat rice and don't do any exercises, that energy will be stored as fats. so, in order to avoid fats, i'm avoiding rice for as long as i could. not that i don't and won't be touching them anymore but hell i wanna lose more weight badly. and since i don't do much of exercising, i might as well don't swallow even a single drain of it. (:

anyhoo. im turning legal 18 (like finally) soon and hell i'm like soo excited! haha. i know. only 18. but oh what the heck. i finally get to buy cigerettes legally. clubs won't do much of a problem cause im already 18. haha. and what's more. im soo gonna get a motor license right after my birthday! haha. so radiah bt rajis. save your money up cause next week, we're gonna enroll together. and please. lets finish the theory and practical quickly. cause i had enough of travelling by train to school with the expensives ticket fares. also, gillera is long waiting for me to ride baybeh! haha.

im off. 9 hours of programming lectures begins at 8am tomorrow. and whats worse, i'll be working right after school. prft!

.THURSDAY,210509.

2009-05-21T00:18:00.003+08:00

school was fine today and that is only beacause physics was cancelled at the very last minute. which of course, brings me joy cause i don't have to face shits for physics and able to vanished off from school early. good thing eyy? only 3 hours of lectures and bam! i'm home. haha.

anyhoo. you know what's the most pathetic thing to have in school especially at this kind of age? p.e. yup. i never like doing this whole exercising, running, streching up kinda thing. it brings sweat and damn i never like to perspire. trust me. you wouldn't even want to sweat a drop if you're in my shoes. cause. imagine yourself having to head home from paya lebar to pioneer with sweats all over you. damnt it right? i know.it sucks big time. but oh well, you got to do what you got to do. and since napfa test are like around the corners, i soo gonna have to pump everything up - like i even want to. prftt.

and yes, i have to do all the five stations (not including 2.4) tomorrow. ugh.

life is such a torture without freedom of choice.

im off. meeting mum tomorrow. so gotta sleep early.

cheers!

.WEDNESDAY.200509.

2009-05-20T01:32:00.006+08:00

weekends has been such a kill. if i'm not at home, doing nothing but rotting to death, then i'll be at boon lay power, working either being as a cashier, server, or a cooker. prft. life has been such a bore lately. i mean, i never get to spend at least a single minute hanging out with my friends during the weekends. and hell at this age, that is what us teenagers do most in life these days.

oh boy, do i miss my friends truckloads. sigh.

phase test are like around the corner and i'm soo not ready for them. damn. it really amazed me how majority of my classmates are able to adapt physics real quickly and i don't. seriously. this suck big time. i mean, i want to be in that standard where i can answer to every questions that are being flashed out in mr goh's powerpoint slides. i want to be the one who ables to finish the assignments given even before majority does. and if wires and stuffs are being place directly infront of me, i want to be the one who can connect every cable to the right end. but i can't. and i really don't know why. maybe. just maybe. i never like physics before. thats why. maybe i can never like physics even if i try to like them. that is exactly why. ugh.
hell. im prepare to fail my papers badly.

.FRIDAY.150509.

2009-05-15T01:27:00.005+08:00

i know i might be the slowest person living on to know that smoking a stick actually kills 7 minutes of your life. i'm a HEAVY (thanks shafiqah *idiot* haha. ) smoker. i smoke like what? 1 box for 1 and a half day? damn right. crazy i know.

everyone around me knew i smoke. my friends. my family (except my grandmother). even my mum knew about it. of course, like all mothers, when they found out that their kids smoke, the only thing that they do is nag and nag and nag. but what the heck? it's a habit that i can't resist. i don't smoke due to influencial of my friends or anyone around me. i don't smoke just cause i wanna feel cool and all whoa about it. i smoke because i want to. i want to smoke and thats it. it's not an easy thing to get off with. i remember one time when i was really damn broke and got no money to get one, i crave for them. i crave for one puff badly. i know it sounds stupid wasting money on these kinda shit. but hell whatever. i like smoking and want to smoke. i'll quit. maybe. just maybe. when the government rise a pack of cigerrette cost to a bomb, then i quit. otherwise, no. afterall, it's freedom of choice.

okay. this post is soo random.

well, i blog about it cause just a few minutes ago, while using the comp and puff at the same time, my grandmother actually caught me red-handed. damn it. though she didn't really say anything, i still don't feel good cause i remember one time very well, she told us not to ever lay a single finger on cigerettes. but i did and got stuck with it. i don't feel bad about it. at least not until just now.

prrfftt.

.FRIDAY.150509.

2009-05-15T01:00:00.004+08:00

i chatted with my class advisor just only.

and the conversation goes like this;

azharmirzan - what cannot be cured; must be endured. says:
are you coming tomorrow?
Casper=> says:
nope
i am on course
why today u didnt go school?
azharmirzan - what cannot be cured; must be endured. says:
urm.
well i don't want to lie.
so
to tell you honestly
Casper=> says:
go on
azharmirzan - what cannot be cured; must be endured. says:
i woke up late again.
Casper=> says:
12pm lesson my dear
yet cant woke up?
what time u sleep?
azharmirzan - what cannot be cured; must be endured. says:
i know.
and i didn't know what's got into me
well.
i slept around 3 last night
Casper=> says:
hmmm
u need to do something about it
it will affect u greatly if u goes on like this
azharmirzan - what cannot be cured; must be endured. says:
yea. i've gotten myself a new alarm clock just now.
should not be a problem for tomorrow.
Casper=> says:
good to hear that
good start
b in school tmr
lesson as usual
azharmirzan - what cannot be cured; must be endured. says:
alright.
no worries about it.
Casper=> says:
good to hear that

i lied about the new alarm clock thingy. but that's not the point. the point is, he actually mentioned on the fact that if this carry on, it will affect me greatly. prft.
i had seriously enough of failure. first the N level. then the unsuccessful nitec office course. and i don't want this. not anymore. seriously. lidya was telling me to make a new resolution since my birthday is coming. maybe. just maybe. if i don't want this kind of stuffs to happen, changes should and must be made. i would reconsider.
cheers.

.THURSDAY.140509.

2009-05-14T12:53:00.005+08:00

i just love my blog song la! haha.

anyhoo. i didn't went to school yet again today. and as always, knowing azharmirzan, the only available reason for his absenteesm from classes is due to him waking up late. idiot me. seriously. someone should really give a one good smack on my face to wake me up. prft. if i ever get a debarment letter from school, i seriously think i deserve that shit. damn it. ugh.

now, i wanna dance badly. and my definition of dance is not like you know, those dance you do at clubs and stuffs but dance as in dancing with a crew. and not any kind of dance but hip hop dance that chris brown, usher, neyo, justin timberlake did. yea. cool huh? i admire that kinda dance. stiff but smooth. just nice. haha. should i apply for dance classes? i don't know. i have the intention to do so but worried if it might cost a bomb. prft. oh well, shall check on net soon.

i'm off already.

cheers baybeh! (:

.THURSDAY.140509.

2009-05-14T02:55:00.000+08:00

random.
i don't wanna school anymore.
my heart and places are not in info-comm.
having to study physics is such a torture.
damn it.
life is cruel.

.THURSDAY.140509.

2009-05-14T02:45:00.003+08:00

0245am.
it's raining outside.
good weather i supposed.
but still,
i can't sleep.
fuck it.

.THURSDAY.140509.

2009-05-14T00:30:00.005+08:00

physics is such a total goner. like seriously. i need to brush up on my tecniques of memorising really badly. i've been forgetting things really fast even when i pay to my fullest attention to what my lectures had to mumble about, it amazed me to how things in my head vanishes off very quickly whenever lessons ended. this shouldn't be happening. not at all. cause you know, in physics, every chapter links with the other. and if i'm lost with one chapter, there goes the other. kinda irritating yea? i know. prft.

anyhoo. school ended at 3pm just now. i got my butt off to jp before heading for home majorly because i need to get myself a brand new earpiece. i've been using a earpiece that is only available to hear on one side of it and not the other. and damn. it annoys me like shit. so yup. bought a philips brand. didn't really like it though cause the loudness is not up to my expectations. prft. but oh well. on a brighter note, i got myself a new earpiece baybeh! haha.

i met jojo around 7pm. and only did adem tagged along at 8pm. we went lakepark (after ages of not heading down to that beautiful scenary) to chill, kill time and stuffs. it was really a last minute planning. well, you see, i had an off-day in the early morning just now. and the emotional feeling then drags till noon. so, in between that hours, i actually text jojo if she wanna head down to lakepark. and since she agreed with the plan, we made our meeting up timing and all. (:

blablabla, we went home nearly 12am and here i am, blogging. (:

cheers! (:

.WEDNESDAY.130509.

2009-05-13T01:19:00.002+08:00

i woke up late for school yet again just now. this is seriously becoming a habit which i should and must remove in my list. i mean, look at it this way. im not a pro in physics. and nor im good in vjp either. having to lose even a minute of the lesson means super much to me. cause in my life, every minute counts. prft.

i told mar to have a new daily routine job in her life which is of course, pathetically, to call and wake me up every morning. i wouldn't think it would be a big issue for her cause you know, we always head down to school together. and furthermore, since her house is located somewhere in boon lay, the alarm time to wake up would be not much of a different with the time i have and had to wake up. haha! so mar, do your thang!

kinda tired right now. eyelids are killing me. i'll blog just about what i have to tomorrow alright?

till then; cheers!

and oh! listen to the new song in my blog. damn nice. (:

.TUESDAY.120509.

2009-05-12T23:42:00.007+08:00

i know i promised to blog about ahmad's birthday gathering a few days ago but hell, shit happens. i got caught up with work and stuffs. furthermore, schedules for last week kinda tight for me you see.
but well, on the brighter note, i'm ranting about them right now. (:

there you go.
ahmad's birthday gathering was love. the dishes he cook are two thumbs up. like seriously. i mean, i can still remember how the taste was like going through in my mouth and through my throat. yes. that good.
well, of course. what do you expect from a shatec student? haha.
oh well. nothing much to elaborate. overall, the gathering was nice. (:

.FRIDAY.080509.

2009-05-08T00:05:00.001+08:00

i'll blog about ahmad's birthday gathering tomorrow.
anyhoo, i didn't went to school just now. pathetic i know. it has only been nearly 4 weeks of school and already i didn't attend to school for 4 times. spoilt child. really. haha. well, it's not like as though i didn't wanna turn up for school or something but unfortunately, i woke up damn late la! journey from pioneer to paya lebar eats roughly around 45mins. and the waiting-for-bus, walking-to-school routine already took earliest, 15mins. and to round up the total time taken will roughly took about 1hr15mins. right? haha.

lesson supposed to start at 12pm just now. which then simply means that i had to get out of the house latest 1045am. but hell, i woke up at 1030am just now. and to think of the total time i need to bathe, iron my shirt, wax my hair, pack my hair, oh damn it. best solution whenever this kinda thing happens is to go back to sleep and not to think much about it. haha. i think shfiqah should've experience this kinda thing alot of time in her secondary school days. am i not right shafiqah? lol. mind me bestfriend. (:

nothing much happened today. only on the fact that dafiqa darling came over to my house and chilled for a few minutes. haha. that's about it la. (:

.THURSDAY.070509.

2009-05-07T23:16:00.009+08:00

i wanted to blog about christmas and new year's outing i had with my bffs but how unfortunately, pictures been deleted accidentaly by yours truly me. so yup, won't be blogging about it. at least not until i have those pictures from jojo of course. haha.

anyhoo. pictures above are of a random outing i had during one of the march holidays. i was prctically damn freaking bored and planned an outing together with jojo and adem. initially, the plan was to head down to sentosa and do something different. which is of course, sight-seeing and picture taking. but how unfortunately, it rains cat and dog and yup, plan was changed and we decided to chill at mindcafe. it was a nice hang out. more of like catching up with what had been happening around us since school holidays began.
games choosen are not that familliar and mind you, we actually asked one of the waiter there to teach us on how to play the board game and stuffs. haha.

personally, to my perception, the price over there are quite reasonable. at least that is what i thought. not that expensive la. haha. oh whatever to that.
anyway, we were kinda rich on that particular day cause we actually rode home by cab. haha! i don't really know how much the taxi fair cost cause i wasn't the last to drop down. but it definitely should be a bomb cause it was past midnight when we took the cab. (:
oh wells, i had a great outing that day. every minute spend was loved and damn it my bffs really made my day. (:

.THURSDAY.070509.

2009-05-07T22:31:00.017+08:00

there you go. pictures for the singapore flyer outing with families.
don't really wanna talk about it. let those pictures above do the talkings alright?
cheers.

.WEDNESDAY.060509.

2009-05-06T01:26:00.002+08:00

tell you what. im done for today's blogging. dila've been wanting to use the comp and i feel super bad for not giving up to my little sister. prft. oh wells.

i'll blog tomorrow alright? im off to shop, and then to bed for now.

and mind you, i have to wake up as early as 530am tomorrow. damn it!

goodnight. (:

2009-05-06T00:48:00.010+08:00

above, is my pathetic buddy, juliana. haha. you know, if there is ever a mistake i ever creates in any of the documents that was told to be done, she can noticed them immediately. yup. very observant person indeed. even stupid stuffs like the wrong dates, page numbers, or even typo errors. she will notice them. prft.

now above here is my dearest kakak rozie. the receptionist and the easiest job in soonsteel. lol. pathetic is when she intercalls me, just to bitch around about others and stuffs. lol. idiot. not only that. whenever she feels like heading down the loo or to don't know where, she will intercall me and ask me to take over her calls for the moment. pathetic right? lol. but oh well. in soonsteel, i love her the most. (:

above is my director, mr daniel tsi. the nicest man in the office. and even though he's old, mind you but his english and speaking is freaking superb! haha. (:

now, take a goooood look on the shorty above. yup. that's angeline. the idiot which i have been bitching about in blogs. whining about how i hate her. crying over the fact on how irritating and annoying she gets. ugh. whenever i looked at her right now, i swear, if she's directly infront, i would've punch and kick her big boobs and ass. seriously.lol.

there! picture for dinner and dance. haha.
next up, singapore flyer trip with families. (:

.WEDNESDAY.050509.

2009-05-05T23:55:00.009+08:00

so that's it. overdue pictures for prom night 2008. yes. the day when adem shows one hell of an attitude towards me (mind me adem). haha. anyhoo, emcee was yours truly together with si pendek; shafiqah sahar (prom king and queen for year 2007). it was a totaly last minute script writing and stuffs and mind you, we improvise more than what we planned in our cards. to my surprise, everything went well. the craps. the improvisation, though of course shafiqah's always bitchy towards me regardless whether only the two of us are around, or in the public together with whole lot of strangers. spoilt girl i should say! really. hahahahhahahaha.
damn. im missing all my 4n3 bestest bestfriend already. ):

.THURSDAY.300409.

2009-04-30T01:35:00.014+08:00

alright mates. pictures below are of sharmeen's sister's wedding. as you all can see, even though the location is located under her void deck, what impressed me most was on the fact that her wedding was damn fucking grand la. i like the setting up, colour combination and stuffs. the lights, oh hell! it was huge. haha. i went with rad at first. only then clashes with fidi, followed by nas, azfar, shahrul. then only dafiqa. it was a great meet up though. shit out stuffs. cracked out laughters and all. haha! nice meeting la i should say. really.

pictures below are of the overdue pictures during the family-friend karaoke outing. it was 2 days right after raya festival. friday night la to be specific. such a random plan. i went home that day and kakak was like, abang, get change, we're going karaoke. haha! so i broke my virginity to karaoke only last year. and hell, it was fun la basically. karaoke-ing with your familes. you friends. damn nice. i sang my lungs out with dafiqa alot! songs like memori berkasih, wonderful tonight, my boo, damn alot la! haha.

pictture above is when dila went to straighten her hair the night before our karaoke outing. and since this idiot thought that it was nice to be kept that way permanently, she went rebonding right away the next day. prft. such an idiot lil sister. really. haha. (:

i know. what an expression right? i was trying my very best to hit that stupid higgh note. couldn't really remember what song but the note was super damn freaking high la sey! haha.

two pictures above. remebered clearly what song were we singing. my boo by usher featuring alicia keys. haha. nicely been brought out by yours truly! haha.

so that's about it la. don't really wanna talk much now. more pictures awaits.

up next, prom night pictures! haha.

.WEDNESDAY.290409.

2009-04-29T01:06:00.015+08:00

alright. school was fine. 3 hours of principle talks and all really made my butt damn solid! haha.
i don't really wanna talk about school and stuffs now. just wanna rush out all the overdue pictures. my psp is soo running out of memory mainly due to gazzilions of pictures pending for post. so yup; below are all the hari raya outings i had with families and friends last year. (:

you know. 3 pictures above are flash during the $200 fine that brother in law had to pay to the officers due to us, not using any seatbealts. pathetic i know. what worst was on the fact that that idiotic officer had the exact same name as my brother in law. prft.

below onwards are flashed pictures i had with my friends during one of the hari raya outings. there are more to this actually. but however, till date, hizwan still owes me the remaining pictures. prft.

there you go. pictures done with their talkings. now up next, karaoke with families and friends. haha. wait up! (:

.TUESDAY.280409.

2009-04-28T02:32:00.013+08:00

below are the overdue pictures for our office wear attire (exam) last year. i didn't like my hair style cause how unfortunately, i ran out of wax on that particular day. and my hair didn't turned out to how i want them to be. prft. but nevertheless, the exam date was super hillarious and was super freaking fun i should say! haha! view them all. (:

so that's about it. our school moments falls on every tuesday. we actually thought of hanging out since we were on our best attire but however, work falls on the next day for us and hell to hang out on that particular day right after school would be such a tire for us and since we had work on the next day. so yup. went home right afterwards. this was one of the best school days i ever had last year. memories are to be treasured indeed.
and oh. just so you ite mates know, im missing all of you. (including ema). ):

.TUESDAY,280409.

2009-04-28T02:14:00.004+08:00

pictures below are all during fasting month last year. so the overdue i know. and if i remembered very well, all the ite mates are supposed to break fast together. but you know, when bitches are all in them, things won't ended out on how you planned them to be liked. haha.

but nevertheless, it was fun though. and i couldn't really remember what syeera's friend name. (:

next up, office wear post.

.TUESDAY.280409.

2009-04-28T01:53:00.005+08:00

i wasn't able to access my comp due to password that had been activated by brother in law. prft. and now, since the password had been told by him, im back to blogging world baybeh! haha.
school's sucks. new environment. new whole bunch of people and friends. im learning physics again by the way. and have i mentioned im sucked at physics in my secondary days? yup. back to basics. pathetic. all those formula like V=IR or whatever is else is been seen yet again. just my luck. prft. schedules are all okay except monday (typical monday blues); which is from 9am-5pm. the rest are all half day. but since i'm located at ite macpherson, it doesn't really make any difference though whether or not it's half day cause the journey to school and to home itself eats nearly 2hours. damn right? hell i know. i woke up everyday now, whining on bed on why the hell my fate is in info communication. seriously. it sucks and i never like a single bit of what i'm learning. life is damn cruel. ugh.
anyhoo, i didn't turned up to school today not beacuse i was sick or whatever but mainly because i'm lazy. idiot i know. but whatever.
oh wells. i'm blogging all those overdue pictures on the other post. be right back. (:

.TUESDAY.31032009.

2009-03-31T07:41:00.000+08:00

and i just came home from work. like finally.

working nightlife have been such a bore. things i normally do in my daily routine life nowadays are; go to work at 6pm; return home at 530am, chit chat with sister till 9am; sleep all the way till 5pm; and the shits repeates over and over again. damn, i ain't got a life. prft.

and of course, like every other monday night/tuesday morning, i've gotten my pay yet again today. but how pathetically; business wasn't that good this week and 20 bucks were cut off my salary. idiot.

can't blog much now. gotta visit mum soon.

and oh! this coming friday's my appeallation result and Allah, i'm praying that higher nitec approves my appeal. please. i'm begging. Amin.

.SATURDAY.28032009

2009-03-28T07:37:00.003+08:00

oh oh!
i forgot something. on thursday, while chit chatting with sister. kak lenny from belgium called. she surprised us with some beautiful pictures of her newborn son. Dante's his name and hell look at how adorable he is.

yup. adorable i know. but how unfotunately, he will only be available to meet his unc next year, mid april. prft.
oh wells, patience is virtue.
cheers! (: