The return of Zan.

I came to realize that the only time when my usage of English was good was during the time when i was actually really into blogging. Consider that donkey years ago cause blogging was the in thing during my teenage years and i'm an old hag now (26 years old), still figuring out the prupose of my existence in life. But everything pertaining to blog is as good as dead now, no?

Who cares. This site still exist, which means people still use this online diary thingy, yes? Heh. I'll be blogging from time to time whenever i'm free - like now for example. Must come back to this good old habit cause i'm handling emails everyday and wrong grammar can be an embarrassment, really. lol.

But here's to reviving my blog and the return of Zan. I can do this. Heh.

Till then, wait for my post okay?

P.s Picture taken was 4 years ago but i still look the same though. ((:

10042012, Tuesday

work was pretty much relaxing today. i was assigned to do some parliament duties; like patrolling around the parliament building and car park every one hour. and time taken to do one whole round took roughly 12mins. knowing some police officers are hell lazy, my partner, who carries a rank of a sergeant did only two rounds throughout the whole entire day. of course when a higher rank decides to play extra nice with the working hours, i can't disobey his rule can i? so to sum up, i worked for 30mins only and spend the remaining time, sleeping. well, not literally 30 mins cause i did a 2 hour patrol with a cisco member before having to work with this sergeant. but out of my 10 hour shift, i think i only threw a quarter of what was needed in my workload today. yea, life's heaven for today. haha.

anyway, my off day is tomorrow and raihan made plans on travelling all the way here just to meet me. i'm not sure how long he's planning to spend time with me but am somewhat hoping it would be longer than we previously met (which lasted only 2 hours). it has been a while and i really miss him. please please please, let's hope tomorrow turns out well okay? i need some good night sleep now love. update tomorrow okay?

xoxo. (:

09042012, monday

when it comes to breaking promises, i'd say i pretty much ace it well don't i? the fact that i rant about wanting to start re-blogging over and over again, but not putting in any effort to do so pretty much explain what type of person i am - that i can never keep real promises. i'm not that i'm saying i can't be trusted or in fact, not a man with my words but you know, life is pretty rocky right now when it comes to having to serve the nation.

so i pop-ed last 23rd february and i really have to say that when i thought that all that sufferings and burdens are finally coming to an end, the posting i get are way fucked up compared to when i was still a trainee in home team academy. it's that bad actually. there are a lot of memorization required and being in the uniform group, you know if you don't meet up to what is required from you, the higher ranks are gonna grill your ass slowly. and to think about how i'm only a week old in my division, it's not fair that i have to memorize every 25 pit stops (i'm talking about the place and location as to where i'm suppose to patrol at) within the first 2 days of my work. knowing that i have never been good with the maps in singapore, you can say i nearly got my ass burn. well literally. mind you, the memorization of this 25 points are 1 out of 100 percent that is required to be kept in your head. yes, they are killing the us boys, slowly. sigh.

i need to get my beauty sleep now. i'll explain every details of my work (that is if i got the time) when i'm free tomorrow okay? tomorrow, parliament duty. damn.

xoxo.

.SUNDAY.010112.

dear god, my prayer for 2012 is a fat bank account and a thin body.

sincerely, me.

.SATURDAY.311211.

so the other day, facebook news feed was flooded with this malay movie entitled ombak rindu. i swear, almost everyone was talking about how sad this movie really is. and being like any other typical human being, i was really curious as to what this ombak rindu movie is all about. and since i really got nothing much in particular to do that night, i went online searching for this ombak rindu. before playing them, i told myself that i should probably watch only one third of the movie since it was already past 4am that night and thought that sleeping at 6am would rather be far too late for me. the duration of the movie is two hours by the way and not even one third covered, i was already crying tears of blood. yes. it was that good i swear. of course, you wouldn't cry if you're able to control your emotions but being me, who is extremely sensitive, i cried almost throughout the whole movie. yes, i ignored the time and watched it till the end. but how can you stop on a good movie when all you wanna know is how the ending like kan? haha. so i watched and cried like as though the world was about to end and mind you, instead of using a tissue, i used my bath towel to wipe off my tears ehh. HAHA. i know. sungguh tidak perlu. but i couldn't help it if i'm too emotionally sensitive sometimes you know! heheh.

oh well, it was a good heart breaking romantic love story indeed and i suggest for those who feels like having a good cry on a movie, ombak rindu is highly recommended. no regrets. heheh. anyway, i'm just done crying for the second time now (yes, i watched them again) before blogging and probably should head for bed now since my eyelids are pretty tired from crying. goodnight all. (:

.FRIDAY.301211.

i'm just done cleaning up all the mess in my closet and came to realized that lots of my accessories went missing to god knows where it is now. i don't wanna accused anyone in this house in particular cause apparently, whoever took it is still part of my family members but for god damn sake, it would be nice if you would just have some courtesy of asking me instead of taking them without me knowing. it would be hell a lot more nicer if you don't touch them but being me, i'm not that selfish you know. especially when it comes to my family members. and if i by actual fact am selfish, would you honestly think that i would lay my stuffs around in my room for you guys to see? no. i don't. i would probably hid them somewhere so you guys wouldn't even know that i have them. but i am not that kind of person. so why is it so hard for you people to at least just inform me if you guys wanna borrow them? it's not like as though i'm gonna make sure you pay a rent or something. and i don't even ask anything in return do i? ugh. never mind that.

apart from my missing accessories, i also came to realized that i need to fill my wardrobe with plenty of new clothes. i'm seriously running out of clothes now. the old ones are just too old and using the same old one over and over again can be pretty much stressful you know. like, the same old azharmizan who got nothing new to wear apart from his singlets and jeans over and over again for the rest of the outing. well, not that people mind i guess but i just wanna look new every time you know. like that guy who people would be curious to see what the hell he'll be wearing on every outing. like how people would look forward to see what you'll be wearing or even better, envy with what you are wearing and all. yes that kind. hahaha. okay lets admit. who wouldn't want to look good on every outing right? but as much as i wanna go shopping like now, i can't. cause unfortunately, i'm broke. like seriously, officially broke. sighh. if only i was born rich. fuck ns for giving such little sum of money and fuck my life for not saving enough while i still can before enlistment. serve me right.

*sings. 'i wanna be a billionaire so freaking baddddd. buy all of the things i never haddddd'. hahaha. okay. seriously, fuck my life.

.FRIDAY.301211.

random.

it has been awhile now.

current feeling; too cold. too silent.

and too lonely tonight.